Saturday, September 09, 2006
I’ve never got my due credit in the tenure of working in Centurion Bank of Punjab. Always, I’ve ignored or overlooked by my superior, as because, I imbibe the quality of goodness and simplicity. It’s really the disastrous part of my life. I never got the justice for myself. As an employee, I firmly believe, I’m not the ordinary level. I’m always meticulous and sincere to my job, whatever job given to me. I’m always perfect to my back up job. On the contrary, I’m sensitive and talkative. My superiors are quite unable to accomplish their task and blamed me for all the reason. They make me scapegoat to hide their fault. They’ve not given any increment since three years. I didn’t know their yardstick to appraise me. But, I’m always helpful, friendly and co-operative with my colleagues and staffs. My response was always genuine, spontaneous and there is no malice. Actually, I don’t able to tell the cleverly. My fault is I’m not demanding, not shrewd, not argumentative and always happy to my meager emoluments. Simple living and high thinking is my principle. My superiors treat me as soft-minded, non-argumentative and in zealous person. That’s why they are trying to exploit, bulldozed me always. They’ve given acute pain to dwindle me down. They’re always became over-zealous, bossing, self-centered and impatient to me. Somehow, they may think that I’ve no capability to switch my job in other companies. One of them resigned the bank to pursue better career in New Zealand, but he became totally failure in abroad and there is no way to come back India. Then tried everywhere in Mumbai, and agreed to join a meager income salary, which is far to his expectation. Lastly, he joined again his old company in Centurion Bank of Punjab. Other one is very mean-minded and suspicious to join the other company and there is no real gut and grit to change his job for the better prospect. But, like cowardice, his tendency to blame the own bank by not giving him the astronomical salary, enough status and lot of facilities. That’s way I’ve got enough trauma as an employee. But, I’m not fearful to this worse period of my life. I became harder and harder gradually to overcome my obstacles. I hope I’ll find a suitable job to meet my daily end. As a sole bread earner, I’ve to struggle life-long for the existence in the cutting-edge competition in the world.
Trauma - 1
My sex desires not fulfils due to my wife's inability and disease. I've no way to stop my sexual demand. I've told several time to my father-in-law and mother-in-law. But, they are adamant to their decision to ignore it and don't listen anything to solve my problem. The result became very bad for me. I've spend several sleepless night due to incomplete sex. As a result, I've suffered regularly by severe headache, migraine, hypertension, anxiety, mental fatigue and blood pressure. My health and life energy deteriorated due to this problem. I'm not a polygamy to indulge sex with different women. I'm always happy with one woman. But, the real life is quiet different to me. As being a mature young, healthy male, this is absurd to think sex with my wife. Life is became hail to me. I can't concentrate anything very long, but there is no law in Hindu marriage act by having two wife at a time. Actually, I'm worried for my son's future. That because, I'm not very keen to any drastic step. But, what's the end? I'm not a God or Swamiji or the holy priest to dismantle my sexual urge for ever. I've the body of flesh and blood. So, is it wrong to indulge sexual intercourse with other woman, when your wife is sexually incapable or totally disinterested for the sex? But, I'm not the kind of a person to meet with prostitute for my sexual satisfaction. It is ultimately the humiliation for me to suppress my sexual desire.STASTICAL DATA :-Marriage held on May 12, 2006Number of intercourse in the year 2006 :-Five times.Son borned on June 10, 1999Next Intercourse :-Three days in a month from the year 2000 ( Six months breaking for wife's visiting in Kolkata )Again hardly two times in a month against my wife's wish from the year 2001 ( Five months breaking for wife's visiting in Kolkata )Again pregnant on January, 2002 and immediately abortioned from the Harish Hospital, Nerul.After that, there is no intercourse till today. In the year 2004, we visited to Doctor at Mira Road. She ( Dr. Vyas ) prescribed the capsule for twenty one days. She used it twice i.e. taken fourty two tablets in an interval. But, she is not taken it willingly. So, the actual result became negative. Then only thrice unsucessful intercourse attempted. As because of her stubborn opposition for the sex enjoyment. After that, we again meet with the Doctor and the Doctor told us to cancel the capsule due to my wife's crossed age limit. She also told us, If it continues, it may became the fatal breast cancer. Then Doctor advices us to use good quality condom or other well-tested substitute. But, she is not interested at all and vociferously protest against using condom or other method for regular sex relationship. My wife told me that our sexual relationship will be over finally. After that, I've tried her to convince several time but failures till now. She is no mood to accept sex relationship as a healthy habit and detest it firmly against my desire. I masturbate more often fantacising about other women. What bothers me is that it is me who takes the initiative and approaches her for sex. She never takes any interest in initiating sex. I strongly desire to see her taking a more proactive approach in sexual intimacy. I give the continuous attention to motivate sexual interest in my wife but she remains inactive participation in sex. The result is very pathetic. We sleep separately i.e. I'm in hall and she is in bed room with our son. She is actually not bother for the sex and not realized my problem. I felt very hurt and thinking about other woman for sex. But, I've not materialised anything. I'm only dreaming sex. It's my substitute way to keep my sex life alive. But, this is not the life. I don't know when I would able to enjoy sex again. My life energy is going down and down. Now, she told that her menstruation period is coming always irregularly. That because, she is totally disagreed for healthy sex.
posted by Amlan @ 7:41 AM
My sex desires not fulfils due to my wife's inability and disease. I've no way to stop my sexual demand. I've told several time to my father-in-law and mother-in-law. But, they are adamant to their decision to ignore it and don't listen anything to solve my problem. The result became very bad for me. I've spend several sleepless night due to incomplete sex. As a result, I've suffered regularly by severe headache, migraine, hypertension, anxiety, mental fatigue and blood pressure. My health and life energy deteriorated due to this problem. I'm not a polygamy to indulge sex with different women. I'm always happy with one woman. But, the real life is quiet different to me. As being a mature young, healthy male, this is absurd to think sex with my wife. Life is became hail to me. I can't concentrate anything very long, but there is no law in Hindu marriage act by having two wife at a time. Actually, I'm worried for my son's future. That because, I'm not very keen to any drastic step. But, what's the end? I'm not a God or Swamiji or the holy priest to dismantle my sexual urge for ever. I've the body of flesh and blood. So, is it wrong to indulge sexual intercourse with other woman, when your wife is sexually incapable or totally disinterested for the sex? But, I'm not the kind of a person to meet with prostitute for my sexual satisfaction. It is ultimately the humiliation for me to suppress my sexual desire.STASTICAL DATA :-Marriage held on May 12, 2006Number of intercourse in the year 2006 :-Five times.Son borned on June 10, 1999Next Intercourse :-Three days in a month from the year 2000 ( Six months breaking for wife's visiting in Kolkata )Again hardly two times in a month against my wife's wish from the year 2001 ( Five months breaking for wife's visiting in Kolkata )Again pregnant on January, 2002 and immediately abortioned from the Harish Hospital, Nerul.After that, there is no intercourse till today. In the year 2004, we visited to Doctor at Mira Road. She ( Dr. Vyas ) prescribed the capsule for twenty one days. She used it twice i.e. taken fourty two tablets in an interval. But, she is not taken it willingly. So, the actual result became negative. Then only thrice unsucessful intercourse attempted. As because of her stubborn opposition for the sex enjoyment. After that, we again meet with the Doctor and the Doctor told us to cancel the capsule due to my wife's crossed age limit. She also told us, If it continues, it may became the fatal breast cancer. Then Doctor advices us to use good quality condom or other well-tested substitute. But, she is not interested at all and vociferously protest against using condom or other method for regular sex relationship. My wife told me that our sexual relationship will be over finally. After that, I've tried her to convince several time but failures till now. She is no mood to accept sex relationship as a healthy habit and detest it firmly against my desire. I masturbate more often fantacising about other women. What bothers me is that it is me who takes the initiative and approaches her for sex. She never takes any interest in initiating sex. I strongly desire to see her taking a more proactive approach in sexual intimacy. I give the continuous attention to motivate sexual interest in my wife but she remains inactive participation in sex. The result is very pathetic. We sleep separately i.e. I'm in hall and she is in bed room with our son. She is actually not bother for the sex and not realized my problem. I felt very hurt and thinking about other woman for sex. But, I've not materialised anything. I'm only dreaming sex. It's my substitute way to keep my sex life alive. But, this is not the life. I don't know when I would able to enjoy sex again. My life energy is going down and down. Now, she told that her menstruation period is coming always irregularly. That because, she is totally disagreed for healthy sex.
posted by Amlan @ 7:41 AM
